God's Word, The Path to Life: Relationships 11-22-20

It is a challenge to get along with others; in fact, it can even be painful for some, so much so that they avoid any type of lasting relationships!  In a recent conversation with a Childcare father, I told him that my favorite part of every day at church was meeting parents and their kids, and talking to them and getting to know them.  He said, off-handed, “yes, and you don’t have to talk to them very long, ‘cause they’re all in a hurry to get to work.”  We laughed, of course, as men do when someone says something we’ve all felt at some point.  What he told me in that comment, though, was that he either didn’t really want to talk to people, or, more than likely, was a little uncomfortable talking to people he didn’t know well. 

 

This isn’t really a judgment against my friend; rather, it is an acknowledgment that relationships are hard!  You don’t know what you can or can’t say, you’re not sure where people stand or what might offend them, or maybe it just takes too much work and energy to be interested and open to someone.           

 

Even though relationships are hard, though, we often have to remind ourselves – relationships are one of the greatest sources of blessings from God!

 

Indeed, relationships can be such a tremendous source of blessing that: God calls us to value our relationships above all else in our lives.

 

There are things we all know to be true; i.e., “relationships are important;” but sometimes we get a reminder from life.  A little over 9 years ago my father had a massive heart attack in the hallway at NKC hospital; they were able to resuscitate him, and he was on a ventilator for a full week.  Finally the next weekend we made the decision to take him off the machine, after which he died in just a few minutes, surrounded by his wife and kids.  Something I noticed upon reflection on this horrific week – I don’t remember anything that happened, other than the relationships I shared with my family that week.  I don’t remember meals, visitors, or hardly any ‘hospital’ talk – just relationships.  It’s almost as if nothing else mattered – and maybe that was one of the greatest lessons of that experience!

 

I think Paul was trying to help the Roman Christians realize just how important one’s relationships are!  Romans 13:8-10

 

Paul uses the understanding that one needs to pay their debts – and says the only thing really worth debt is to love others!  He then reminds them of the 10 Commandments, because even though people usually just see them as rules to follow, they are really ways of maintaining relationships between God, and others.  He finishes this section with a statement of faith:  “Love therefore is the fulfillment of the law.” (13:10)

 

Our relationships with others are not only given to us by God as a source of joy; these relationships are also the primary means by which we experience and express our faith in Jesus!

 

Understanding the value of relationships, it should come as no surprise that: God calls us to nurture the relationships in our lives.

 

If you truly value a relationship, then you have to act in a way that nurtures and strengthens that relationship – it just makes sense!  People don’t always understand this:  Years ago I counseled a young couple having problems because the husband had entered into a relationship with another woman.  After meeting with them, and hearing both of them say they wanted to save the marriage and stay together (there was a young child); we set about establishing some basic ‘rules’ of the relationship.  The first ‘rule’ was that the husband agree to break off his relationship with the other woman, and not see her anymore.  He hesitated – and then finally refused, because he cared about her, and said “I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

           

He said he valued the relationship with his wife, but he wouldn’t act in a way that would allow it to heal and grow; the wife correctly understood that he didn’t really value her at all!  When you value a relationship, you will act to strengthen it!

 

Paul taught this very thing to those in the church at Ephesus: 

Ephesians 4:31-32

When Christians valued their relationship with others, there were ways they would live and act to nurture those relationships.  Here are a few ideas he gave them:

 

God’s Path for Relationships

 

• Put away the poison (v.31) “Bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, malicious behavior.”  These practices are poison to any relationship, and do not have to happen.  Here Paul is teaching that we who follow Christ are to make it a conscious effort to change our behavior, and resist the heat of emotion when we speak.  We are to represent Christ in all situations, even in our anger and frustrations!
• Choose nice (v.32)  “Instead, be kind to each other. . . .”  Our behaviors are a choice!  No-one makes you act a certain way, people can only “push your button” when you let them.  This is not to say we must avoid all conflict, or allow people to manipulate or abuse us.  Rather, it is a way to demonstrate, even in challenging encounters, that we follow Jesus and represent God’s grace.
• Remember the reason (v.32)  “. . . Just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”  Here is the reason we are to be different, and the way in which our changed behavior is possible – God in Christ has forgiven us!  Because we have experienced God’s forgiveness through Jesus, we are to offer grace and forgiveness to others.

 

Our response to God’s grace, rather than the actions of others, is to guide our behaviors,.

 

“Now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. . . . Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. . .  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love.”

 

 Colossians 3:8-14

 

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